emotionally. physically.
and all the lly's i need something
to run thru me and remind me
what the hell i'm doing.

i feel sluggish. and i can't
really blame it on new orleans
and lots of po boys and the
deep fried roaches. O_o
well.

i did however manage not
to smoke during our halloween
weekend. i know that i will be
a non smoker complete by
next year. but sometimes i feel
like there is more to me that i
quit when i decided to quit smoking.
and that is where all the confusion comes
in.

i've gained almost 10 lbs the past
year. and while that doesn't seem
like much and i'm sure someone
and everyone has their sob story.
but it makes me feel...this is the first
time i've gained weight since me and
mike. and it feels a lot more awkward
than when i was single. i'm even more
insecure than i was as fat and single.
i can't explain.

my little brother is going to join a
gym on this side of town. i may join
wtih him. since i'm feeling quite homeless
lately. so i'm here and there. between the
parents. i'd love to see my little bro' lose weight.
he's over 300lbs and i worry about his health.
i'd love to see me lose weight as well!

oh one day! 
 

i feel like i have nothing new to
say here.i guess i may perhaps should
start talking to people instead of machines .
might help more.

anywho.
halloween was awesome!

jane's addiction and flaming lips.
w00t!
my teenage ear continues.