one day i'll
wake up and
i won't feel
like i have to
puke.

one day.

one day i'll
understand.

one day.

one day i'll finish
all these projects
running in my headsoftspotthoughts.

one day you'll own up
and be the man i knew for
over a decade.
one day.

it's almost been a year.
what is an anniversary?
murder and my heart..
share the same.
it's kindof cruel.

it's surreal to
use the word..
sometimes.
the reality.

i ran into a kid at
work.
he asks. it's almost
been a year and everyone
still asks. even the
ones who i have told
we no longer speak..
they come running
with questions.
it doesn't throw me
to ill..anymore..
just a twitch.

i've yet to hear
from kiley or brandi.
sometimes, it doesn't
bother me..i think
about both of them
everyday. some may
say it's pathetic to
hold on to people
who have let you go.
*shrugs* i guess
i hate to walk away
when i don't know why?
i crave to understand
people..it hurts my
bones to think about
what i did? was i
a horrible friend?
i've gone over in my
mind a lot ...of last
year. unfortunately a
lot of last year is a bit
cloudy.

how did i lose
it that much last year?

anywho happy mother's day
to those of you who have
the lil'ones and happy
birthcontrol day to those
of you who don't! =)

i truly am grateful
for my mum!! <33
and all the mums i know!
<333

okay!
write me a letter
why don'tcha?
okay.

not only to those
in the swamp and
the prison!
anyone! <33
i love true
snail mail!
miss it like
the dickens.

ps.i quit
smoking and
i made a B in
Spanish I would have
liked an A, but eh.

yesterday at the onion
they were teaching
the girl there spanish i
helped, and then it made
my heart happy b/c i asked
her what her first language
was..and it was swahili..
so i got to speak to her
a very very very tiny bit
in swahili! <333
it reminded me why i
want to work with language.
communication!! <333 is.
beautiful.